Now available for Windows 10 & 11
😩

Slap your laptop.
It has opinions.

Mic-powered slap detection for Windows. Your laptop screams, moans, and judges you. 100+ sound clips. No accelerometer needed.

Download for Windows How does it work?

Windows 10/11 · Works on any laptop with a microphone

🌍 4,291 laptops have been slapped worldwide

No special hardware. Just your mic.

SlapDows uses your laptop's built-in microphone to detect physical impact on the chassis. A slap creates a distinctive broadband audio spike that's nothing like typing, talking, or music.

01 👋

Slap your laptop

Give it a good whack. The lid, the palm rest, the trackpad — it's all fair game.

02 🎤

Mic picks it up

Our audio engine detects the percussive spike and validates it's a real slap, not you typing.

03 😫

Laptop reacts

Instant audio response. Gentle tap? Quiet whimper. Full slap? Full volume chaos.

Two ways to make it suffer

🎤

Microphone Detection

Works on every Windows laptop. Spectral analysis distinguishes a chassis slap from voices, music, and keyboard noise. Auto-calibrates on first run.

Available now
🖐️

Trackpad Detection

Detects palm slaps on Windows Precision Touchpads. Four simultaneous contacts + large contact area = that's a slap, not a click.

Coming in v1.1

Four moods of regret

100+ sound clips. Every slap picks a random clip from the active pack. Volume scales with force.

😫
Pain
"Ow!" "Hey!" "Stop that!"
25+ clips
😏
Sexy
Use headphones. Seriously.
30+ clips
💨
Farts
No comment.
20+ clips
💀
Memes
Wilhelm Scream. Vine boom. Bruh.
25+ clips

Adjustable sensitivity

From "earthquake detector" to "needs a running start." Calibration wizard sets it up on first launch.

butterfly landing... full commitment

USB Moaner

Plug or unplug a USB device. It moans. You're welcome.

[ USB DEVICE DETECTED ] → 😩

Lives in your system tray

No window. No taskbar icon. Just a silent little icon waiting for violence.

👋
SlapDows · Pack: 😫 Pain · Slaps: 1,247

The fine print (it's all good)

🔇

Typing lockout

Won't trigger while you're typing. We're not monsters.

⏱️

Cooldown timer

Prevents meltdowns during rapid slaps. Adjustable.

🔊

Force-scaled volume

Gentle tap? Whisper. Full slap? Full volume.

🔢

Slap counter

Lifetime slap tracking. High score pending.

🚀

Launch at startup

Always ready. Always listening. Always judging.

🎯

Auto-calibration

First run wizard learns your laptop's slap signature.

🔗

USB Moaner

Plug in a USB device. It has feelings about that.

🪶

Lightweight

< 20MB. Uses almost no CPU. Your laptop won't even notice.

Less than a coffee. More fun than therapy.

$5
No subscription. No upsells. Just chaos.
Download for Windows

That's 0.3% of what your laptop cost. It'll be fine.

FAQ

Will slapping my laptop void the warranty? +

Probably not, but we're not lawyers. We take no responsibility for dents, cracks, or emotional damage to your device. Slap responsibly.

Does it trigger when I'm typing? +

Nope. The typing lockout suppresses triggers while keyboard events are detected. Our spectral analysis also filters out the sound signature of keystrokes — they're rhythmic and narrow-band, unlike a broadband slap.

Does it listen to my conversations? +

No. SlapDows runs 100% locally. Audio is processed in real-time and immediately discarded — we never record, store, or transmit any audio. Zero analytics, zero telemetry. Your slap count is between you and your laptop.

Does it work with external mics or headsets? +

It works best with the built-in laptop mic since it physically picks up chassis vibrations. External mics will still work but may need higher sensitivity. You can select which mic to use in settings.

Is there a Mac version? +

Macs already have SlapMac. We're the Windows side of the equation. Different OS, same questionable life choices.

My antivirus flagged it. Is it safe? +

Yes. A system tray app that accesses the microphone will trigger some antivirus heuristics — that's expected. SlapDows is code-signed and open about what it does: listens for slaps, plays sounds. That's it.

Can I get a refund? +

If SlapDows doesn't work on your machine, absolutely — just reach out. If you just regret your decisions, well... that's kind of the whole brand.